Every time I think that I have heard the most absolutely ridiculous thing I could possibly hear, somebody comes up with something even more absurd. Under the Obama Administration, political correctness has become the single highest objective, no matter how incredibly asinine the results.
Here’s the latest in mind-numbing idiocy. The city of Seattle, Washington, is banning certain words in its official communications. Government workers have been advised that words such as “citizen” and “brown bag” are potentially offensive and may not be used in official documents and discussions.
Seattle, like every other major city in the U.S., has a number of residents who are not actually “citizens,” and so apparently the use of that word is offensive to those people because it reminds them that they are not citizens yet. And those who take their lunch to work may no longer say that they are “brown-bagging” it because that phrase could be considered offensive to African Americans.
I’m not making this up. It’s really happening! And I think it’s just a matter of time before the words “husband” and “wife” are eliminated, to be replaced by “partner” so that no one engaged in any kind of loving relationship will feel discriminated against.
Because our lawmakers continue to try to turn U.S. citizens – sorry, residents – into a nation of wienies, I’ve decided to publish a list of words that offend me. I’d really appreciate it if you never use them again, as they may hurt someone’s feelings.
- I’m offended by the word “the”. It’s not fair to two-letter words and four-letter words to use a three-letter word.
- I’m offended by the word “trash.” Please use “garbage” from now on because “trash” is offensive to people who have been called “white trash.”
- I’m offended by the word “smart.” People who are not smart might have their feelings hurt by that word. Please replace it with “slightly above average in intellect due to genetic makeup.” (Just try using that phrase when describing a “smart phone.”)
- I’m offended by the word “senior.” In a school situation, it might make freshmen, sophomores and juniors feel inferior. In society, it could make older folks feel unfairly singled out. From now on, let’s use “a freshman with experience” so that no one is offended.
- Finally, I’m offended by the word “politician.” It has become synonymous with the word “idiot.” Now that I think about it, let’s keep using it. It fits perfectly.
Which other words should we ban so that we can achieve complete political correctness in our country and harmony throughout the universe? And which words should we use to replace those banned words in order to form a society in which no one is ever offended by anything said by anyone?
Please let me know what you think. I’ll let you know if any of your suggestions offend me.